I taste pennies.

Although it doesn't come up in conversation frequently, most guys have one clear defining moment when they knew, KNEW, that they liked the ladies.

My moment was when I saw Princess Leia, in a bronze bikini, held prisoner as Jabba's slave in Return of the Jedi.

Apparently I am not alone in my fixation.

Well...

Today I went to a showing of over 100 Star Wars costumes and saw Princess Leia's Metal Bikini in person with my own two eyes.



It was a highlight in my short and, to date, unproductive life. A high water mark in my experiences, like Noah's ark on Ararat.

I was six inches away from it for several minutes. I actually leaned in so close the silent alarm went off and a security guard come over and asked me to step back. I was so close to it, in fact, that (in my mind) some of the atoms that were evaporating off it at a thermodynamically minuscule rate were being inhaled into my lungs and carried into my blood stream.

I'll probably die of a heart attack as the copper plates out inside one of my arteries. The clot busting drugs and the angioplasty won't help. The doctors will be confused that nothing seems to be working. But I'll know. And it'll have been worth it.